Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of They Call Me Daddy! In this episode, hosts Torrean and Mondo explore the complexities of modern relationships, how kids date, and the journey of self-discovery. Mondo opens up about his experience with polyamory and his evolution from his younger self to who he is today. The duo tackles themes of honesty, the changing nature of relationships, and the impact of choices on personal growth.
Mondo shares his journey from embracing polyamorous relationships to a period of abstinence and self-reflection, offering a raw and unfiltered glimpse into his evolution. The conversation takes an intriguing turn as Torrean and Mondo discuss the importance of being true to oneself, the dynamics of traditional and non-traditional relationships, and the lessons learned along the way.
This episode is not just about parenting; it's a candid exploration of adult life, relationships, and the continual process of learning and growing. Whether you're a parent or not, join us for an episode that's as real as it gets - full of laughter, honesty, and maybe a few tears.
Remember to like, subscribe, and leave your thoughts in the comments. We're on all major platforms, including YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music, and Google Podcasts. Let's dive into this journey of honesty and self-discovery together!
Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of They Call Me Daddy! In this episode, hosts Torrean and Mondo explore the complexities of modern relationships, how kids date, and the journey of self-discovery. Mondo opens up about his experience with polyamory and his evolution from his younger self to who he is today. The duo tackles themes of honesty, the changing nature of relationships, and the impact of choices on personal growth.
Mondo shares his journey from embracing polyamorous relationships to a period of abstinence and self-reflection, offering a raw and unfiltered glimpse into his evolution. The conversation takes an intriguing turn as Torrean and Mondo discuss the importance of being true to oneself, the dynamics of traditional and non-traditional relationships, and the lessons learned along the way.
This episode is not just about parenting; it's a candid exploration of adult life, relationships, and the continual process of learning and growing. Whether you're a parent or not, join us for an episode that's as real as it gets - full of laughter, honesty, and maybe a few tears.
Remember to like, subscribe, and leave your thoughts in the comments. We're on all major platforms, including YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music, and Google Podcasts. Let's dive into this journey of honesty and self-discovery together!
00:00:01 - 00:00:14
Torrean: Yo, yo, yo, what's good, y'all? Welcome to another episode of the Vick, Call Me Daddy, Parents Podcast. Let me introduce my co-host. We got Mondo. Unfortunately, Matt couldn't make it today, so it's just Mondo and I today.
00:00:16 - 00:00:33
Torrean: With that being said, please like, subscribe, make some comments. It all helps the channel on all platforms, every major platform from YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music, Google Podcasts, everything out there. You can find the podcast. So what's going on Mondo, how you doing today?
00:00:34 - 00:01:07
Mondo: Man, you know, I'm just over here stretching, right? Because what the audience don't know is the origin of this podcast really just spurred from Mondo and Torrean having random phone conversations and they being bomb. And we're like, you know what? What if we allow people into those conversations and shout out Mac, Mac, we love you. But today I feel like it's about to go back to a Torrean Mondo conversation, and they typically are OC.
00:01:07 - 00:01:25
Mondo: And I just feel like I need to stretch because this OC conversation is now about to be delivered to the world. And so I'm getting ready, right? Like this is a for real, like it's gonna be fun. But man, you know how we get it just be all over the place. So I'm good.
00:01:25 - 00:01:26
Mondo: I'm good.
00:01:26 - 00:01:42
Torrean: Now for sure. I can feel that. And now I'm Now I'm starting to feed off your energy a little bit. I woke up a little sluggish today, even though I got some good sleep that I haven't gotten in weeks. But right before the podcast, I found a burst of energy.
00:01:42 - 00:01:52
Torrean: And I'm like, OK, I'm ready to get this today. So After hearing what you're saying right now, we're about to dive into it, I guess, right off the bat. So you ready? Nope. Yep.
00:01:53 - 00:01:53
Mondo: All right,
00:01:53 - 00:01:55
Speaker 3: let's go. All right.
00:01:58 - 00:02:32
Torrean: So 1 thing I always admire about Mondo is he's never been afraid to go against the green. He's always been somebody that, you know, would do what he wants to do, even if it's unpopular, even if it's not necessarily received by people, you know. And that doesn't mean that it's right for Mondo, right? And so like I would my disagree or somebody else may disagree, Mondo, but he feels like it's right for him and he just does his thing. So with that being said, Mondo is, you know, he is, I would say, you know, you could say he's a visionary.
00:02:32 - 00:03:08
Torrean: So Mondo has been a polyamorous relationship guy for many years, back when it was not popular, back when it didn't have the name polyamorous, whatever Mondo is like, yeah, that's my thing. So with that being said, Mondo, what did you see at the time? Like what brought you to that in a nature where, you know, yeah, you know, people, Some people are like, yeah, I got like a side chick. I got everything else. And you're just like, nah, I got like 10 girlfriends and they all know about each other.
00:03:09 - 00:03:28
Mondo: See how he be amping? See how T be amping? So 1, right, like just to set the tone, you know, there is and I'm going to be very definitive. There is old Mondo energy, right? Like how I thought of things for a long, long time.
00:03:28 - 00:04:06
Mondo: And then there's newer Mondo energy where I'm like making new agreements, seeing what's best or better for me now. And so as I answer these questions, I'm probably going to answer them in 2 parts because you know, the way that I move through the world is ever evolving, right? We continue to change. However, if we just go back to the beginning, it was very simple for me that high school lost my virginity and I was like, well this is dope, right? Like, oh, sex is dope.
00:04:08 - 00:04:59
Mondo: And then the idea of, so you saying, get married, have sex with the same person for the next 50 years, nothing about that just made sense from the start, right? Just fundamentally, I'm like, how and why are people choosing to do that? And so early on, right, high school, right, we we lie, we hide stuff, we, you know, do all this, all the sneaky stuff. But then eventually, I would say post for agreements, reading the 4 agreements to be impeccable with your words, I really leaned into, I just need to start saying these things out loud. Right, like I know it is not favorable to be like, yeah, I like you, we're doing this thing, but I also like her too, and I wanna do this thing over here.
00:04:59 - 00:05:38
Mondo: And if you choose to opt out because of my behavior, cool, but I'm not gonna hide it from you. And so some people might be like, oh you're a player, blah blah blah, and I was just like, I presented the information, I was clear with the information, and then I give people to choose the opportunity to choose do you still want to kick it with Mondo or not? And so yeah, like that is the origin of Polly-ish and like it wasn't like I'm living with 2 chicks. It ain't like it actually wasn't even on some. I got 10 girlfriends.
00:05:38 - 00:05:57
Mondo: It was just like. The monogamous commitment to 1 person forever is just not something I ever agreed on. So Torrean kinda amped it, you know what I'm saying? He's probably gonna keep amping it, but I'm not a reality TV show Mondo or anything like that.
00:05:57 - 00:06:15
Torrean: TAYLOR Not so... So I remember things a little bit different. I think Mondo was inspired by Flavor Flav and the flavor of love. It was like, yo, Flav could have 20 women vying for my love. I for sure could have that many women, you know what I'm saying?
00:06:15 - 00:06:18
Torrean: So, you know, minus the clock.
00:06:19 - 00:06:21
Mondo: You know, Mondo
00:06:21 - 00:06:26
Torrean: was like, yo, I'm gonna push Flav to the side and do my Flav thing, you know?
00:06:26 - 00:06:48
Mondo: No, so look though, look though, here's the difference. Well, there's a lot of differences, But here's 1. Now look, now y'all see how me and Torrean actually have real conversations one-to-one. 1 of the differences is I always wanted the baddest woman in the room. Right.
00:06:48 - 00:07:22
Mondo: Like, you know, if I come in and I'm like, oh, man, there's there's a lot of cuties in here. And then there's like the baddest, like you look around and it's like, she's the 1 in here like I want that 1. But it doesn't mean that I have to go after her right now. Like, look, it might be a 3 year marathon until like, finally we crossed ties enough times, we kick it in the same space, we start talking, blah, blah, blah, and then like, there's some unity there. So I share that context because, Because I play the long game in relationships, meaning if it's supposed to be, it's supposed to be.
00:07:24 - 00:07:41
Mondo: Sometimes it's supposed to be when somebody else is still in the picture. Right. And so like Flav, he just had 20 vying for him at the same time and he just jumping back and forth trying to figure out what's what's what. I'm more like, man, just give me 2 of the dopest and I'm good. And so it's no disrespect to any woman.
00:07:41 - 00:08:02
Mondo: It's not saying that 1 woman was better than the other. It's not saying anything like that. It was it stemmed from my own mommy issues to start, right? Like if you, if I really get into like the fundamental psychology of it, it's just like, oh man, like I lost my mom at 10. I was looking for a certain type of relationships and women, right?
00:08:02 - 00:08:37
Mondo: Rather it was somebody that super amazing at cooking, somebody that was like super loving, somebody that really was into sex, somebody that was super adventurous, 1 person that wanted to chill, right? It was just me seeking this external relationship with a woman or with women, things that 1 woman just didn't have in a single container. And up until this point, right, like I haven't leaned into a relationship monogamously and be like, oh, I'm just going to try this forever. I see myself doing this forever. I just haven't gotten to that point yet.
00:08:37 - 00:08:37
Mondo: So.
00:08:38 - 00:08:56
Torrean: Yeah, I think that take your final take there is is the evolution from, you know, younger version of the old Mondo versus a new Mondo. But I think it's important for anybody to be like, man, this dude is a savage. He's a dog. He's whatever. So remember what it was like to be young.
00:08:56 - 00:09:08
Torrean: You know what I'm saying? Like I wrote this like to be young. There's a game to be played, man. I look at, you know, I see social media now, whatever. And it's just like, man, there's so much toxic toxicity out there.
00:09:08 - 00:09:31
Torrean: But that's my my older eyes looking at it from a younger point of view. But at the same time, when we were that age, we were all going through the motions as well, trying to figure out what what's what, you know, like, you know, from, you know, the first time you see girls really change in junior high and you're like, oh, shit. This looks different than it did before, you know, like, damn, like where does she come from?
00:09:31 - 00:09:32
Mondo: You know
00:09:32 - 00:10:00
Torrean: what I'm saying? Versus, you know, through all dating in high school, then you go, you hit college and college is like, you know, free for all, right? Like, in some ways, some way, shape or form, it's like, free for all, but that's both sides, you know, And then like, you know, as you kind of, you know, get out of college, mature a little bit, you know, then you try to figure out, okay, what is my dating life look like, right? Like, for me, I'm more of a traditional guy. I was, you know, mainly single until I was like 26 years old.
00:10:01 - 00:10:08
Torrean: So, you know, for myself, it was like, yeah, I dated, you know, I did my thing, obviously, whatever, whatever, but like, you know, I was- You
00:10:08 - 00:10:32
Mondo: see, you see, you see, you see how he was like a mondo's the Pali King me touring I did whatever whatever you know saying like what was that I'm pause you cuz you got getting here for a quick second the whatever whatever season was it respectful Was it I was juggling a little bit? Was it I was trying to find my way? What is whatever, whatever to somebody who now is in a committed traditional relationship.
00:10:33 - 00:11:07
Torrean: So looking back at it, I realize how insecure I was in myself. Right. And so I look at it like, man, I had a lot of girls in like they might like me, but I would find any reason to sabotage whatever it was that, you know, whatever it was that we may have had or whatever, even if it was just on some friendship, I'm just like, you know, if you had me fucked up or if I felt like you had me fucked up, I'm going to tell you, you have me fucked up, right? Like I remember a conversation and I was like, man, you got me fucked up. I snapped on somebody and they're like, yo, a text message has no tone.
00:11:08 - 00:11:18
Torrean: Right. Like they're like a text message has no tone. So like I wasn't even saying it like that. And man, they check my ass because I'm like, yo, like I need to chill out. Right?
00:11:18 - 00:11:43
Torrean: Like I need to chill out. And so like, yeah, I mean, that would mean, you know, yeah, multiple girl, you know, multiple women, whatever the case may be. But a lot of times it was just friends, but I have, you know, I had a lot of great solid, like, you know, female friends, yeah, women, yeah, women, yeah. Female friends that just like, I would learn from them or talk to them or whatever and it was just all like you know we weren't messing with each other we were just strictly friends right and so
00:11:43 - 00:11:50
Mondo: that the only difference I got friends gal friends but because we had sex does that the poly jump
00:11:51 - 00:12:08
Torrean: I mean, that's what people would say, right? That's where the judgment would come in, right? It's like y'all are sleeping together versus, in my friendships, we ain't necessarily doing that, right? But, you know, I really hurt somebody 1 time. I was wilding out, really hurt somebody 1 time.
00:12:08 - 00:12:08
Mondo: And I
00:12:08 - 00:12:31
Torrean: was just like, man, it reminded me of the way my mom felt growing up. You know, the way I would see her from being a single mother to and only having me as a child, I would see her pain. Right. And I've seen how my mom. You know, would react when like she was upset with me or a man or my dad or whoever, whoever the case, whoever she was mad at, I would see that.
00:12:31 - 00:13:08
Torrean: And I was like, yeah, I got to be better because she always told me that, like, you know, you need to like when you come from a single mother, they always try to with their sons. I feel like they put a lot of pressure on their sons to be like, you need to make sure you treat a woman respectfully and do right by that woman. But that puts a lot of pressure on a man, on a young man, especially because it's like, yo, I might be looking to talk to 1 chick, But then she's out there doing her thing and talking to multiple people. And just like, you know, there's a difference between dating and relationship. Right.
00:13:09 - 00:13:28
Torrean: And so like, that's just kind of how I view it. And that's where, like, you know, then all of a sudden, you know, Like, you know, we're talking like mid 2000s, right? But like, you know, Mondo comes in and he's like, oh, yeah, it should be like this. It's a set up. You know, people should have you should just tell them, tell everybody the truth.
00:13:28 - 00:13:32
Torrean: And it was just like, huh? Like, hey,
00:13:32 - 00:13:38
Mondo: let me let me paint. Let me paint the picture a little bit more. Right. Yes. 1, tell everybody the truth.
00:13:38 - 00:14:03
Mondo: There was a moment in college, my freshman year of college. You know, there's no reason for me to put names in the in the scene. But I was in a I don't even know if I was in a relationship, pseudo relationship, half relationship, whatever. And this person, we went to different colleges. And it was 1 of those seasons where I was like, yeah, freshman year of college, I wanted to chill.
00:14:04 - 00:14:21
Mondo: I wasn't on campus at University of Tennessee. Probably 3 people knew my name. I just wanted to be under the radar. And so I wasn't on nothing, wasn't messing with no women, wasn't doing anything. And so it was that season where I was just like, to myself.
00:14:22 - 00:14:27
Torrean: Hold on, pause. Pause. I remember you being in Rockwood, wilding out, bro.
00:14:27 - 00:14:28
Mondo: No, absolutely not.
00:14:28 - 00:14:30
Torrean: Like in the country. Absolutely.
00:14:30 - 00:14:30
Speaker 3: You used
00:14:30 - 00:14:33
Torrean: to be in that picture with that 1 girl. She ain't had no teeth.
00:14:37 - 00:14:38
Speaker 3: No, no.
00:14:38 - 00:14:40
Torrean: You caught her. You caught her gumbella
00:14:41 - 00:14:43
Speaker 3: or maybe I caught her gumbella. You forgot
00:14:43 - 00:14:44
Torrean: about that.
00:14:44 - 00:14:51
Mondo: I did. There ain't no that is not a true story is new torii. Well, it is duty. So, hey, you
00:14:51 - 00:14:54
Torrean: say, Bella, did you see the news yet?
00:14:54 - 00:15:07
Mondo: You see Tito, Barack would. OK. Now, shout out to the Rockwood family, right? If anybody in Rockwood listen to this, man, we just, we just be clowning. Cause yeah, it's, it's a different life.
00:15:07 - 00:15:08
Mondo: It's a different experience.
00:15:08 - 00:15:18
Torrean: If y'all got receipts on Mondo's ventures with gumbella or anybody else down there, you know, post some pictures on social media so we can see them.
00:15:18 - 00:15:27
Mondo: Nah, man, I actually don't have randoms. Like, that's something we'll talk about later. Like, I don't just be stumbling upon folks messing with them out the blue. Okay. My
00:15:27 - 00:15:29
Torrean: bad. Yeah, continue your story though, man.
00:15:29 - 00:16:19
Mondo: Where was I going with this? Oh, yo, it was literally just, You know, there's a cat and mouse game a lot of the times, right? Very rarely do 2 people meet and they both like each other equally at the same time, like 1 person likes the other just a tad bit more and then like just a cat and mouse right Tom and Jerry and so I was always Jerry I just like you know I'm just gonna do what I want to do whatever and somebody could chase me And then when I went to UT for that freshman year of college, I found myself in Tom's position. And like, there was 1 night where I felt somebody else being the other gal being Jerry, and I could not sleep that night. You talking about being able to sleep, having a good night's sleep, fam?
00:16:19 - 00:17:03
Mondo: It was the first time in my life, I'm like, I'm in my mind so much wondering what this other human is doing, and it is completely outside of my control, and I can't go to sleep. Bruh, a good 15 years of my life, I was like, I will never experience not being able to go to sleep because my spirit is on what somebody else's behavior is. And so I would say that that was a catalyst of me making sure that I was always Jerry and I always created a narrative, created agreements with myself that I could never find myself in that time position. And so again, like this is me reflecting now, right? With more wisdom, like, oh, it still comes from some pain.
00:17:03 - 00:17:16
Mondo: It still comes from some trauma, still comes from some. And that's why we make the choices that we make so we don't feel that hurt again. But that doesn't mean that the poly life wasn't dope. That doesn't mean it still ain't dope. Right.
00:17:16 - 00:17:22
Mondo: Like, I don't know right now. I'm chilling right now. Actually T, you don't know this. You don't know this. I don't think.
00:17:23 - 00:17:39
Mondo: Since Thanksgiving weekend, I made a commitment to be an abstaining sprint. And so I've been abstinent. I don't know how long I'm gonna be, but never in my adult life. I've been like, man, I ain't even gonna have sex. And so that's new.
00:17:39 - 00:17:50
Mondo: So that's why I can say these things now. Because for the first time in my life, I'm like, I ain't having sex with nobody. Which is wild for me to say. Wild.
00:17:51 - 00:18:08
Torrean: Now, you did tell me that, though. You told me you were thinking about it, so I don't know if I knew that you fully committed to that or whatever. So a random chick hurt you, and that kind of was like, you know, after that you couldn't sleep. I didn't know that was a random. So that
00:18:08 - 00:18:12
Mondo: was it wasn't a random check. I was just not saying. OK. Yeah. No, it was a long relationship.
00:18:14 - 00:18:14
Mondo: But yeah.
00:18:15 - 00:18:27
Torrean: So at that point in time, you were just like, man, fuck this shit. I ain't doing this no more. So this was pre-cadence. This is pre-being a dad. Like I said, my college is kind of a free for all.
00:18:27 - 00:18:40
Torrean: So you have cadences born. And at that moment in time, which is just kind of like, yeah, like, you know, you hear the songs, I'm a player, I'm a player, I'm a player. And I'm like, I'm not no player. I'm a truth sayer. You know, like,
00:18:42 - 00:18:49
Mondo: I didn't have that bar in my pocket. But if I did, I'd have said it. I'm not a player. I'm a truth sayer, fam.
00:18:50 - 00:19:04
Torrean: I'm a truth sayer. So like when you first, you know, started getting to the poly game, like, you know, and telling your truth, was there pushback? And like, how did you navigate that pushback to be like, man, like I had this.
00:19:05 - 00:19:20
Mondo: Yeah. You know, a wise man. And if you know who the wise man is, you know who the wise man is. But a wise man once told me. They always come back.
00:19:21 - 00:20:04
Mondo: And so after I got that Jim from the wise man, I was just like, here's what I'm on. And they're like, I'm about to dip and they dip and eventually somebody else lies, steals, cheats, disrespects and they're like dang. Come back to Mondo because I'm always, I was a hunter, right? Like we talk about being a hunter, like, I'm loving, caring, kind, I want people to be successful, I want people to reach their dreams, like, I have all the other qualities as a good friend, a good human, a good partner. It's just my agreement with having sex with somebody for 50 years that there was a disagreement around.
00:20:04 - 00:20:48
Mondo: And so to answer your question, it was simply, I say what I believe, somebody disagrees with it wholeheartedly, they move and shake and go do what they gotta do, but eventually we somehow find our way back together, for some reason, right? It might be for a short time, might be for a longer time, but I just found myself being a safety net to, like, have a good time, right? Like, Like, yo, we're not gonna be able to do this forever, but while we're doing it, it's gonna feel like a dope partnership, a dope connection. And I was just always honest. And when I wasn't, I would vote for agreements.
00:20:48 - 00:20:58
Mondo: Hey, let me do my best. Let me start over. And then just try to be honest the next time. And not meaning hide something forever, but it's just like, yo, you gotta say the thing. You gotta tell the person the thing that you did.
00:20:59 - 00:21:36
Mondo: And because I practice telling on myself so much, that's probably the best way of putting it, because I made so many errors in what somebody would perceive judgment errors, but I always like faced it and told on myself. It got to the point that I learned like those relationships may not stay intimate forever, but the friend part of that relationship was super strong. You know, it's just like, yo, I know Mando's not gonna stab me in the back, right? Because the things that did hurt, he was willing to be honest. And over time, like he got better, right?
00:21:36 - 00:21:44
Mondo: He made better choices. He I feel like he didn't intentionally go out to hurt me. He did tell me up front, like this is who he is. This is what he is. This is what he does.
00:21:47 - 00:21:56
Mondo: And yeah, man, I would say that I'm grateful for amazing women that, that stuck with me for a long time.
00:21:57 - 00:22:11
Torrean: Nah, for sure. And 1 question I kind of have for, for, you know, for women, like, you know, it's just me and you want to put on this in this conversation. So like, if any ladies want to comment, you know, on a make a comment in the social media, but
00:22:11 - 00:22:12
Mondo: I got so scared.
00:22:12 - 00:22:40
Torrean: I want to, I want to have our accounts. But yeah, My question I got is like, why do they always come back? Right. Like I've noticed that, like I said, I had a lot of female friends and I noticed it's like if they didn't get if if the guiding at the message the first time they're going to send like 100 messages. And that doesn't mean like text message or anything like that, but they're going to try 100 times to convince them that, oh, you know, this is the right way or, you know, somebody cheats.
00:22:40 - 00:22:47
Torrean: It's like. Oh, well, I got to I got to convince them that, you know, I'm the 1 for them or whatever the case may be.
00:22:47 - 00:22:49
Speaker 3: And it's just like, I fuck you.
00:22:49 - 00:23:06
Torrean: I don't just don't move on. I don't get that. Why? Why are you trying to? Why are you trying to, you know, convince somebody that already knows and already has their mind made up of something like it's it's like an impossible mission almost or.
00:23:06 - 00:23:36
Mondo: Yeah, I'm not I'm not going to get slayed by the audience by trying to put words into a woman's mouth. However, I will. I will say that another wise person, I don't know if it was a wise man or a wise woman or someone on TV was just like, yeah, when somebody tells you who they are, believe them. Right. Like some people are just you just see immediately it's a big old red flag is, you know, 100 foot red flag.
00:23:36 - 00:23:53
Mondo: And you're like, is that green? Right. Like and so as a dad, you brought up cadence as a dad. I am hopeful that cadence when she sees red, She proceeds knowing that it's a red flag. Right.
00:23:53 - 00:24:03
Mondo: Like, yeah, OK, you see how your dad moved. Right. Good, bad or indifferent, however you see it, right? Like you see it. And so don't see something.
00:24:03 - 00:24:16
Mondo: And then We talked about delusion last episode, right? You can be delusional for you and manifest something to life But you can't be delusional thinking that you can change somebody else. I don't think that that's real
00:24:16 - 00:24:36
Torrean: So I was gonna try to ask this question a little bit later, but I'm going to ask it now, since you brought it. We were you know, we brought up cadence now. But like what you just said is, is you've seen how your dad moved? And what if her response is, Yeah, but my dad's the greatest, the greatest man I know. Right.
00:24:36 - 00:24:48
Torrean: Like, but although maybe that is red, right? Like maybe that's not best for her life, but she's like, oh, it reminds me of my dad, and that's it. Well, What would be some advice you would give to navigate that?
00:24:49 - 00:25:15
Mondo: Oh yeah, I mean, here's my ego, it's about to come out. If Cadence runs into somebody that is similar to her pops, because that typically happens, Cadence will quickly recognize that that person is B squad. All right, like if you're like me in your behavior. Because Cadence is so much like me, right? She's more of a mirror, right?
00:25:16 - 00:25:35
Mondo: Master manipulator at her age, right? Because that's how I started. If she comes in contact with a male manipulator. She's going to know how to move and shake because she already has those tools. My question with Cadence is, is she gonna be the puppeteer?
00:25:35 - 00:25:50
Mondo: Right? Like, and then what does that do? Right? Like, even if you just remove the sex piece from it, cause I don't even want to think about that. But if it's just like, yo, Cadence got 6 different dudes that bring around dates and they go kick it and have a good time.
00:25:50 - 00:26:18
Mondo: But the environment, people will start making their own judgment decisions. They'll start saying things that aren't true or whatever because they don't know. And so Caden's may emulate my behavior and people may frown upon it because she's a woman, right? Just because you're a girl and you're not with 1 person saying you want to get married, she may be frowned upon by outsiders, right? Like even her best friend or 1 of her best friends, right?
00:26:20 - 00:26:43
Mondo: Family has been together since high school, right? Mom and dad, like very traditional relationship and just lived in that environment where Cadence is on the other side, right? Cadence's mom and dad, you know, baby Rolling Stones, you know, Sam like. And so what does that look like for Kay as she gets older? She's able to see both sides and what that brings.
00:26:43 - 00:27:01
Mondo: And then she gets to pick. And she might experience all of it, right? Like I'm gonna say something that is so wild to me right now. I used to always say I can never give advice to somebody that's married because I've never been married. I just it's just different.
00:27:01 - 00:27:28
Mondo: Right? And so as I get older, I'm like, man, I'm talking to all these married folks and all y'all seem like, most of y'all seem like y'all aren't happy with this situation, but I can't give no advice. So I'm like, man, am I supposed to be married 1 day to see? Is there a halfway point, right? Like is having a fiance good enough or do you gotta be married?
00:27:28 - 00:27:49
Mondo: I don't know. So let me ask you T, as a committed human, Not to put your business out there, but as a committed human, do you feel that the marriage responsibilities are present for you? Or do you feel like post marriage, it would be different, things would change?
00:27:52 - 00:28:20
Torrean: I'm not sure I understand the question all the way, but here be my response and you can let me know if you if I answer it, but I feel like, you know, having been with somebody for for 13 years now. It's just 1 of those things where you see somebody at their high and your low and vice versa every day. Right. And so like sometimes those highs, you know, you both might be at a low and it's clashing, right? Clash, clash, clash, clash, clash.
00:28:21 - 00:28:53
Torrean: And it's like, man, you got to try to navigate throughout this. Like life ain't all roses. It's not, you know, I don't think that's any different than I mean, you can answer me if I'm right or wrong, but you being a polyamorous relationships or, you know, having multiple partners, I would think there's still some of that some of that that goes on, right? Like you still see that person at their low or whatever. Like for myself, I just always said, you know, I find myself to be very loyal.
00:28:53 - 00:29:11
Torrean: Like I am somebody that like loyalty means a lot. You know, respect means a lot. And so, you know, it's just, OK, well, you're going through a low. Cool. I understand life ain't all roses, so let's just get through this low time so we can get back to the eyes and be happy again.
00:29:11 - 00:29:20
Torrean: And so that's just kind of how I look at it. And But it doesn't mean that, you know, shit ain't tough. Like, it definitely is tough, you know?
00:29:21 - 00:29:30
Mondo: So do you feel like if you were wearing a ring on your finger, would your behavior change? Or would you still be the same dude you are today?
00:29:31 - 00:29:55
Torrean: I mean, I think I'd be the same. I mean, like, we're not technically married, but we've been together 13 years. And, you know, as you know, the first episode we had, this show was kind of me. I was like, yes, my wife. But I mean, I don't you know, myself, like people that are actually, you know, have went through a ceremony or paid, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars for their wedding or thousands of dollars for the wedding, like some of that shit just doesn't make sense.
00:29:55 - 00:30:21
Torrean: But it's just like, you know, I don't they might think it's disrespectful. Like, no, we said an oath or whatever. But the reason, you know. 1 reason we have never gotten married was just the fact the fact that that was something that was said right off the bat, like she never wanted to get married and everyone to get married. And so Like, but that doesn't mean we don't treat our relationship or have the same seriousness as a officially married couple.
00:30:21 - 00:30:35
Torrean: Right. Like it's all about how you act and how you treat that person. And so like, yeah, if we went and got into the courthouse today and made it official by law, like with none change,
00:30:35 - 00:30:36
Mondo: you know,
00:30:36 - 00:30:58
Torrean: at least that's how I look at it. You know, like, you know, people could there's a religious aspect of it too, right? Like there's like under God, but it's like, for me, I make, I don't, My relationship with God is my relationship with God. It's not for anybody else from the public to come and judge, right? It's not for anybody to say, well, you know in the Bible it says this.
00:30:59 - 00:31:02
Torrean: Cool, right? But I have to send my own prayers on it.
00:31:05 - 00:31:12
Mondo: I'm laughing because if y'all know Torrean and you say something to him and he ain't with it, he's like, cool.
00:31:13 - 00:31:16
Speaker 3: But for me, You know what I'm saying?
00:31:16 - 00:31:30
Mondo: Okay, that's dope. That's dope. Alright, then let me ask, you asked me about Cadence, right? Meeting a version of Mondo. And I know Rainey's young, but yo, a Mondo pull up to the door, I mean, you treating it like Will and Martin?
00:31:30 - 00:31:32
Mondo: You know what I'm saying? And Bad Boys?
00:31:32 - 00:31:41
Torrean: I'm treating it like Negan from The Walking Dead, smashing a nigga's head with a bat and a motherfucking bar wire wrapped around that bitch.
00:31:42 - 00:31:56
Mondo: Bruh, so you love me. Cousins forever, you know I'm a good dude, you know eventually I got better at making wiser choices around women. Why he ain't good enough for Rainey? Why younger me ain't good enough for Rainey?
00:31:57 - 00:32:00
Torrean: Younger you can come back, they always come back.
00:32:02 - 00:32:05
Speaker 3: Younger you can come back at like 50, nigga, like,
00:32:05 - 00:32:05
Torrean: you know?
00:32:05 - 00:32:07
Mondo: That's real, that's real.
00:32:07 - 00:32:42
Torrean: And see what's up, and like, you know, but for me I don't... I don't even wanna think about that shit, man. It gives me anxiety just even thinking about her dating 1 day or, you know, like last night we went to the Wolves game and we went to the Wolves game and like the whole game, she's just it was her first ever game. So she's excited and she's she made a whole sign about the Timberwolves and all this stuff. She's just leaning her arm all up on me the whole time, like resting her arm on me the whole time, enjoying the game, just watching it that way.
00:32:42 - 00:33:05
Torrean: And I was just like, man, this is so dope because I felt like we and her haven't done anything in a long time. Just just the 2 of us and like, you know, get to share this experience. Our first game together was dope. And, you know, but I'm like, man, you know, in like 10 years, because, you know, in 10 years, you know, they ain't going to be me no more. Right.
00:33:05 - 00:33:22
Torrean: Like all the time or whatever. And then I'm just like, yo, like, do I really want, like, her to come cuddle up on me when she was just cuddle up on some other nigga? Like, I don't know, My mind just went to the wrong to wrong place. That's why I don't even try to think about that shit, because I should just piss me off like.
00:33:25 - 00:33:50
Mondo: Hey, I. So this situation actually happened for real, and I'm not going to say any names, but I'm curious how you would respond. So I went to this to 1 of Cadence's volleyball games, right? And there's somebody else on our team that, you know, has a boyfriend and. You know, boyfriend comes to games, boyfriends are cool with the family and stuff like that.
00:33:50 - 00:34:21
Mondo: And so like, it's dope family support. And like after a volleyball game, you know, that family came out on the court and they're all standing kind of in line and the daughter goes, jumps and gives the boyfriend a hug first. And so my question to you is, do you have a problem with not being acknowledged first if you stand in the line and then your daughter goes and jumps in homie's arms? Because I told Cadence, if that ever happens, I'm tackling him while you're in the air.
00:34:25 - 00:34:35
Speaker 3: Oh, okay. First of all, your response just shocked the hell out of me. Cause you know, you're super low key and calm all the time and everything else.
00:34:35 - 00:34:44
Torrean: And so like, as you're explaining that situation, I realized that, you know, you were testing my Switzerland because
00:34:44 - 00:35:03
Speaker 3: I was, you know, my calm vibe was like, started to get more mad because hell yeah, I'd be mad to say oh like the fuck Take them hug take them hugs around the corner G or back the fuck up, you know, it's Chaining command around here.
00:35:03 - 00:35:05
Torrean: They get you ain't even on the chain.
00:35:09 - 00:35:21
Mondo: Hey, man, I promise you, like it'd be it'd be a joke for the rest of our life, but that is not happening. Ain't no way I'm standing next to a homie and you about to hug him first. And so,
00:35:21 - 00:35:28
Torrean: yeah. Like, are you and Cadence, have you guys give kisses or hugs or daps? How do you show affection?
00:35:30 - 00:35:46
Mondo: We have a certain handshake and then like a hug, but it's more like a side hug. Cadence is actually not affectionate. She is similar to her mother. I guess her mom and dad early on, like we just ain't big on the facts, you know, our family, fam. Yeah.
00:35:46 - 00:35:53
Mondo: So she kind of had double double historical families that didn't show love like that. And so, yeah, she and I know.
00:35:54 - 00:36:18
Torrean: Yeah, like I remember when Rainey was a baby and Ricky would kiss her in the mouth, and at first I was like, man. I ain't I invite with that, but then I realized like she's like, wow, that's my daughter. And I was like, cool. So we always get kisses on the mouth like that's just our thing. And, you know, not to be like, it's just my daughter, you know, like whatever.
00:36:18 - 00:36:53
Torrean: But it's just the way that we show affection, you know, and it's just it became normalized. And I realized at that moment, like, man, like you said, our family, I'm like, man, and I realized I was like, OK, I'm going to put that aside because this is my daughter and I love her and everything else and so, you know, I hope I hope that lasts forever cuz nothing better than getting a kiss like on the cheek or you know, on my lips for my daughter like that's just a dope feeling but you know, when she starts to date, I was thinking about that too. And yeah man. That's just pause time
00:36:53 - 00:36:59
Speaker 3: right here. That's pause time bro. Nah I mean see I
00:36:59 - 00:37:04
Mondo: I ain't mean to bring you there bro. Like Torrean ain't gonna have a rough day for the rest of the day, man. Thinking about the future.
00:37:04 - 00:37:18
Torrean: Nah, I was thinking about that shit last night, ironically. So like, I don't know, everything my random shit, but I was just like, man, it's just dope to me. Like, my relationship with my kid is just so dope. And I love it, you know? And so that's just why I ask.
00:37:18 - 00:37:23
Mondo: Have you ever envisioned walking Rainey down the aisle and giving her away?
00:37:24 - 00:37:24
Torrean: Nah.
00:37:30 - 00:37:35
Mondo: Okay, all right, of all the things you've envisioned and imagined that has not been 1 of them, okay
00:37:36 - 00:38:02
Torrean: No, cuz it's me, but I think like You know, I think at the end of the day you just want somebody for your your daughter that is going to treat them Well, right Don't put your hands on them. Don't leave them nowhere and be respectful. Like and that's that's all you can ask. But then it's up for me, like, you know, as a parent right now to let her know her, make her know her worth, right? Like make her know her worth.
00:38:02 - 00:38:19
Torrean: So if a model does come around and they're playing games, they can throw models as like Uncle Phil used to throw jazz out like out the door, right? Like, you know, his ass got to go. I ain't even worth my time, you know? And that's good.
00:38:19 - 00:38:55
Mondo: What's so interesting about this is I know we're talking about Polly, but narcissists like that is there's like a war against narcissists right now. And so I have been called a narcissist historically many of times. And it's interesting because narcissist is super confident, egotistical person, that there's some healing that's there, right? That needs to happen. Probably some trauma early on always merges with some empath, right?
00:38:55 - 00:39:37
Mondo: And typically that empath has daddy issues. And so together, I think those 2 humans, like, if they stay with it long enough and they both want to heal, right, or they both want to be better versions of themselves, they eventually start to work through some of that stuff, right, and like get better and get better and get better. But I just share that because man, like the narcissist and this love bombing and like all these different things that like is being frowned upon right now because they think that narcissists are just trying to manipulate everybody and take advantage of folks. And I'm just like, dang, like this war against that confident man and kind of bother me. So I just had to say that out loud.
00:39:37 - 00:39:38
Mondo: I don't even know why.
00:39:39 - 00:39:58
Torrean: Yeah, I mean, I agree with you. I mean, I think men should be confident. I think women should be confident. And I think a lot of the recorrection of everything is just comes from a lot of insecurities within yourselves or, you know, like, you know, I did you wrong. You did me wrong type shit, you know, like that brings you back to my pleasure.
00:39:58 - 00:40:07
Torrean: Pleasure P from pleasure, Peter, R.B. Singer, but like he had this song, I did you wrong. You did me wrong. I take you back. You take me back.
00:40:07 - 00:40:50
Torrean: And it just talks about like, I mean, you know, relationships and how they kind of work and everything else. But, you know, I do think like at the end of the day, just comes down to being a good human. You know, it's like if you and that's 1 thing I respect about your approach is just like the fact that you you at least lay it out there. Like there's no lies being told, like you're not like, you know, a scandalous hoe out here trying to just, you know, manipulate women and take from them and be like, yo, you know, this woman buy me a watch, this woman buy me a car, this woman buy me all this shit. And then like, all of a sudden you at the mall 1 day and all 3 of them pop up and it's just this uncomfortable ass drama that's being filmed now and it's going live on all major platforms.
00:40:50 - 00:41:12
Torrean: Like that ain't the way you ain't the way you get down. At least you tell the truth and it's up to them to decide on what that is or what that looks like for their lives. And so like that's I think that's the difference. The thing is, just comes down to just being a good person and like, you know, good people, you know, good people doesn't necessarily mean just being monogamous, right? Like it's what's best for you.
00:41:12 - 00:41:23
Torrean: But if you I guess if you decide to be monogamous, then you should be monogamous. You shouldn't be out here creeping in and doing all this shit. You should be a truth teller like Mondo.
00:41:24 - 00:41:49
Mondo: So so let's talk about that for a second, because, you know, where we keep nudging and pointing towards women and what the response of Polly is to certain women and stuff like that. However, I know we all know dudes or have been the dude at 1 point in time where like we weren't honest. Right. Like brothers in our teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 56. Like it's like, dang, I'm still lying.
00:41:50 - 00:42:25
Mondo: And so like as a man, at what point is it our responsibility to stop lying, to stop being fearful of telling the truth, even if that means that the person that you care about or the person that you love is going to leave. And so I don't even really have a question. I think I'm just speaking to men right now. Like, yo, there is something about becoming a better version of yourself where you have to kind of face those old demons with the person that you're with right now. Right, like, yo, if you've been lying, stealing and cheating, we'll just say lying.
00:42:25 - 00:42:38
Mondo: If you've been lying your last 5 relationships, you're probably lying in this 1. And eventually the 1 that you really care about, right? You're like, oh, I'm gonna do this right. But you started offline. And so you got to go and fix those old lies.
00:42:38 - 00:42:51
Mondo: You got to do those things. You got to tell the truth and be OK that man. This person might leave me, But you have to do that for yourself or else you're just never going to find that inner peace. And so, yeah,
00:42:51 - 00:43:18
Torrean: I mean, so men make that men write that in the comments, right? Like, at what age do you still should you be done lying or, you know, what maturity point should it be done line, which in relationships or like, should you just keep the law going like is that just part of your player ways and you're just like yeah I'm never gonna how old you know bitches ain't shit now own that and like is that is that what you're saying like you know
00:43:19 - 00:43:32
Mondo: it's so wild yo cuz I just know that there are many of humans, many dudes, super macho, right? Like I am that guy, but still be lying. I'm just like, dang, why? Yeah.
00:43:32 - 00:43:55
Torrean: I mean, I think too, like, you know, from a maturity standpoint, like I just said, bitches ain't shit, but like, that's just to, you know, get the crowd riled up. But like, you know, I don't look at women like that, you know, anymore, I should say. Like, you know, at 1 point in time, I'm not gonna lie, at 1 point in time, that's just a grade in our culture, and that's just how we supposed to look at it. You know, I don't look at them like that anymore.
00:43:55 - 00:44:04
Mondo: Hold up, hold up, can you give me some credit? Because you got, if you're gonna say this dude, Mondo Polly, can you at least say, Mondo ain't never caught a woman a bitch?
00:44:04 - 00:44:08
Torrean: Yeah, Mondo ain't never caught no woman no bitches. He's been calling them hoes all this whole time.
00:44:09 - 00:44:09
Mondo: I'm just playing.
00:44:09 - 00:44:13
Speaker 3: I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm just playing.
00:44:13 - 00:44:24
Torrean: But yeah, Mondo been on that for a minute. Like, I mean, forever. You know, forever. Like, he ain't never, you know, I've been on a disrespectful type shit like that. So but let's go back to your Polly shit, mondo.
00:44:25 - 00:44:28
Torrean: Real quick. But yeah, credit to you, mondo. Thanks, man.
00:44:28 - 00:44:31
Mondo: I appreciate it. That was important to me.
00:44:31 - 00:44:56
Torrean: Like I said, you a visionary out here. So you was against against the grain, the anti bitches, you know. So have you ever lost anybody that you thought would come back that never came back and. And, you know, is it time to reel them back in? Oh,
00:44:57 - 00:45:08
Mondo: that's a good question. So I remember in my early was cadence born. Cadence was born or not, or maybe she was super young.
00:45:09 - 00:45:12
Torrean: And for context, you had cadence when you were at 21.
00:45:12 - 00:45:13
Mondo: Yeah.
00:45:13 - 00:45:18
Torrean: Right. So just I should have said earlier, but I don't have cadence and he was 21.
00:45:18 - 00:45:35
Mondo: So this is probably when I was 22 because Cadence was still like kind of crying through the night, might have been 21 or 22. Cadence was like still crying through the night. And when I would hear her cry, I'd have to get up and go lay with her and stuff. There's this 1 gal way back. 21, 22.
00:45:35 - 00:45:56
Mondo: I really, really like we never had sex, though, and I just thought she was super dope. And I remember 1 night super late. She sent a text. It was 1 of them like midnight texts. But it was the night that I had already went to go lay with Cadence, cause she was whining, and I left my phone in the other room.
00:45:56 - 00:46:17
Mondo: And when I woke up the next day, cause I never got a midnight text from this person. It just never, you know, that thing you go out and it just kind of happens. Never gotten in that night. I got it, but I didn't receive it because I was being a dad, being a good dad. I felt like, you know, that was God working his magic because I wasn't supposed to.
00:46:17 - 00:46:29
Mondo: I wasn't supposed to be that dude for her, but that was 1 person. I was just like, yo, that person never came back. All right. They ended up going, getting married, having a nice dope life. So that'd be 1.
00:46:30 - 00:46:51
Mondo: And then more recently for show, like. Though. I would say like probably Hollywood vibe relationship is the best way that I would put it. You know, when you like see 2 people together and you're like, oh, like they're they really rock hard together. Like they're good for each other.
00:46:51 - 00:47:14
Mondo: You know what I'm saying? And. When that relationship didn't work and I was doing my best to be monogamous, when that relationship didn't work. That person never circled back, Right? I ain't talked to her in years, but I was just like, you know, I would have wanted that person to circle back or like in my mind, I'm like, is that person going to circle back?
00:47:14 - 00:47:36
Mondo: And so like, Those are 2 situations that are fully present, unlike the circle back. And when I say circle back, it don't have to be in 2 years, it could be in 20. And so that's where I'm like, yeah, we go and we live our lives. We experience the things that we're supposed to experience. But when 2 good people come together, If they're meant to come back together later, they will.
00:47:36 - 00:47:57
Mondo: Right. When they're more healed, when they're have more space to be more monogamous, when they have space to be more intimate or they have more tools to show up for the other person with more empathy. We just go through this life and we pick up more skills. And along the way, we share those gifts with others. So yeah, I would say there's 2 people.
00:47:58 - 00:48:13
Torrean: So no shouting out no names, no like, all right, cool. So if you think Mondo is talking about you ladies, you know, hit him up, circle back, you know, no better time than the present, you know, you're getting abstinence Mondo, so there's no pressure, you know.
00:48:17 - 00:48:44
Mondo: Nah man, I wanna stay- I wanna stay in that abstinence space, you know, like, the 1 thing that I will say like and another person, because, you know, I'm talking about these random people and I've noted this person in a different podcast. There's 1 person that stuck with me the longest, and if it wasn't for that person, I wouldn't have developed more of these tools. Right. Because. The gal that stuck with me the longest, I would say.
00:48:45 - 00:49:19
Mondo: Modeled. Unconditional love in a partnership like, oh, man, you know, we get flack for certain women, get flack for putting up with certain stuff like, I don't put up with that. You put up with that. You came back after that, right? And because I do believe that I have a good heart, seeing how my behavior caused some tears and tears and tears and more tears and more tears, and eventually being like, man, I don't want to cause those tears, but I still am a selfish dude.
00:49:19 - 00:49:48
Mondo: And then just seeing like, man, the resilience that this human has to continue to show up for me and be kind and caring or whatever. And how much I had to shift from treating that person as an intimate relationship and more like a friend. Right. Like once I made that shift and I was just like, yo, you're about to be my best friend at this point, right? Like the roles started to shift my choices and how I operated shifted because I know I am an extremely good friend.
00:49:48 - 00:50:11
Mondo: I'm an amazing friend. Historically I just haven't been the greatest boyfriend or greatest partner leading to fiance marriage. So just shout out to my longtime friend. I'm so grateful for the stick-to-it-iveness, the love that you showed me that now I have more love for myself. And I already love myself.
00:50:11 - 00:50:28
Mondo: I've been telling people like I love myself so much, I didn't think it was possible to love myself anymore. And this person helped me love myself even more. And then God stepped in like, all right, here's your last step. Like, it's not possible for you to love yourself anymore at this point. And so like pure love, I believe.
00:50:29 - 00:50:31
Mondo: And Yeah, I love me.
00:50:31 - 00:50:57
Torrean: So that brings me that was a question I had, but like, can you know, you're kind of mentioned or asked me the question about, you know, unhappiness and, you know, in a relationship. But can like polyamorous relationships lead to heartbreak? Like, you know, can you remember any times from old to new where you're just like, man, you crush somebody and you thought there might have been an understanding that there wasn't?
00:50:57 - 00:51:14
Mondo: Yeah, it was a line that I crossed. If you think of a. For the lack of a better word, priority, like, yo, this is my main. And
00:51:15 - 00:51:18
Torrean: So like, okay, my bad, my bad.
00:51:18 - 00:51:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:51:20 - 00:51:28
Torrean: I don't know why, man. I thought about you like DJ from from Hustle and Flow when you just said that was my main. So hey, okay.
00:51:29 - 00:51:42
Speaker 3: So go ahead, man. Break, break this down. That was your main. Oh, man. Go ahead.
00:51:42 - 00:51:43
Speaker 3: DJ. Go ahead, man.
00:51:44 - 00:51:56
Mondo: Alright, man. So I had my mind and, you know, there was some main agreements, right?
00:51:57 - 00:52:01
Speaker 3: You know, and 1 of them
00:52:01 - 00:52:28
Mondo: was just more just the feeling, right? Like the person that feels like they're the main. And so my certain behavior, right, typically was, yo, no matter what I'm doing, you feel that you're the main person. And then somebody else, you just came out the blue, like world win. And there was something about this secondary relationship that started to be more on par with my main relationship.
00:52:28 - 00:53:01
Mondo: And again, it wasn't like the main was any less. It wasn't, it was just like, man, this is a season in my life where like this person brought all the things that my main person didn't. And I didn't even know that I was looking for these things. And it created some extreme heartbreak because I made an agreement to my main person that like, you know, I can control my heart. I'll never open my heart in a way that is disrespectful to you.
00:53:01 - 00:53:08
Mondo: Right. And then it happened. And then that kind of showed me like, but fam, you can't control your heart, bro. Like that's, it's impossible. You know, like that.
00:53:09 - 00:53:27
Mondo: It ain't even about like falling in love. It's just like, yo, your heart is yearning for something that you don't even know is there. And when it shows up, you can't not have it. I guess you can, but for me, I feel like I'm put here to feel, right? To feel, to experience, to do all the stuff.
00:53:27 - 00:53:37
Mondo: And that's the agreement that I've made with God, right? Before it was just screaming, I made with universe. I didn't say God. But back then it was just like, yo, God, I want to experience all this stuff. Like, give me all the things.
00:53:37 - 00:53:58
Mondo: Give me the dopest friends, dopest relationships, dopest sex, dopest outings, dopest, dopest, dopest. And so when it showed up. I'm like, well, this is for me, you know, like this is for me. Thank you. And a lot of the times it resulted in somebody else feeling like this is Mondo being selfish, Mondo again.
00:53:59 - 00:54:03
Mondo: But I was just like, yo, this is the life that I want to live. So.
00:54:04 - 00:54:43
Torrean: Now I can I can dig that, man, I think, you know, we talk about like old Mondo versus new Mondo? You know, I think I think that kind of the purpose of why I wanted to kind of talk about this today was just because there's a lot of single people out there, that single people that are just like, man, I'm never falling in love again. I'm never going to give another chance to, you know, a relationship again. We make we say these things, but yet. I think naturally, like I think naturally, people are supposed to be surrounded by good people are supposed to be good relationships, positivity, relationships, you're supposed to have fun.
00:54:43 - 00:55:16
Torrean: Right. And so like for those that have vowed out, like I'm never falling in love again like, hey, maybe it's just like, OK, cool, maybe not to 1 person. Maybe this might be something, you know, polyamorous might be the life where they're like, no, I used to be in poly and now like to transition out. So like new mondo, Do you still have the same feelings, you know, for for polyamorous relationships like the same like vouch or same, same viewpoints as you did as old Mondo?
00:55:18 - 00:55:37
Mondo: Oh, I don't think so. I believe that 1 of my core new agreements is do no harm first. So I still haven't gotten to the point to where I'm like, oh, I know for sure I'm supposed to be married. All right. Like, that's not a thing.
00:55:38 - 00:55:55
Mondo: But. You know, patience is a virtue. Right. So if somebody comes into my life, showing up for that person all in. Until I'm not supposed to be in that person's life anymore, it's kind of where I'm at, but I just do it 1 at a time.
00:55:56 - 00:56:35
Mondo: I like cool. Like you, my main, if somebody else comes up, me having the discipline to be like, ah, like that either ain't for me right now and I got to move that person out or hey, man, I, we've, we've went as far as we needed to go. Right. And then like the next person kind of comes in, but I also found myself knowing that trying to find that space between is probably healthy, hence this abstaining season of my life. So to be with a partner for so many years, trying not to just jump to the next partner is something that you and I talk about, like finding that gap, finding that space and just not just falling into something else.
00:56:35 - 00:57:13
Mondo: And then the same routine, same bad behaviors, bad habits kind of happen. So I've been very intentional to just create that space to allow the healthiest person to step in next. And if I'm not on sex, if that's not my priority, then hopefully that relationship is super healthy because we know like, yo, when you add sex to the mixed, it can get toxic real fast. You know, like the possessiveness can happen real fast. The level of necessary commitment can happen real fast because it's like, yo, we're intimate now.
00:57:13 - 00:57:35
Mondo: And so like, We make certain agreements on what should happen after you have sex for the first time. And so I found myself like really being Cautious and patient just on the sex piece at this point in my life like what happens if we don't have sex Can we just kick it for a year? Not that I'm on I want to abstain for a year. I'm not saying that out loud, right? But I'm just saying like.
00:57:35 - 00:57:53
Mondo: Does that create a completely different mondo? Does that create a mondo that's just like, oh man, maybe I will want to get married 1 day if I could do this and it might be doper than having sex with 2 women, right? Like I don't know. So I want to experience all the stuff. So I set up my life in a way that eventually I pivot.
00:57:53 - 00:58:08
Mondo: I'm like, oh, I've never done this thing over here. Let me go try this. And if I like it over there, I stay over there. You know, if you want to go to a different place on the Mario board, I go over there. So, yeah, man, like people are going to listen to this and be like, man, it's do Mando all over the place.
00:58:08 - 00:58:22
Mondo: And I would respond by saying like, yep, I sure am. And I'm honest up front. And it's likely you probably want to be that open to. So be it. You know, just say the thing that you want to do.
00:58:22 - 00:58:31
Torrean: I feel you. So all right. I'm going to let you to my next question, because I got a wild Torrean question that's like way the hell up here.
00:58:32 - 00:58:32
Mondo: OK,
00:58:32 - 00:58:36
Torrean: either ask you a mid-level question. You know, which 1 which 1 do you want?
00:58:36 - 00:58:43
Mondo: I mean, we already there. So, you know, I'm saying go skyrocket. And then if we need that to be a family matter, then I'm going to be like family matter.
00:58:43 - 00:58:49
Torrean: Not cool. So what you know, you said abstinence, right? Yeah. So does that mean no nuts is being busted?
00:58:49 - 00:58:52
Speaker 3: Oh! 0 yeah, good question!
00:58:53 - 00:59:11
Mondo: Nah, straight up. So before, here's something super wild. Before I even got to the abstaining piece, I was already on semen retention. Like, I ain't busted a nut, nigga, in a minute. You know what I'm saying?
00:59:17 - 00:59:19
Speaker 3: Hey, look, when I say...
00:59:19 - 00:59:19
Mondo: Hey, look, when I say-
00:59:25 - 00:59:32
Speaker 3: He gave us the dictionary definition. He said semen retention. Like, what the fuck?
00:59:34 - 00:59:52
Mondo: Well, like, yo, like it was a very intentional. It was, all right, Manda, you're trying to be more disciplined in your behavior. Well, where do you start? I wasn't about to just be like, I ain't about to have sex, but I'm like, yo, I can have sex and not nut though. And so like, that's just where I started.
00:59:52 - 01:00:00
Mondo: And then eventually I was just like, all right. I can continue to do this, or I can just jump all the way to no sex and abstain for a while. Bye.
01:00:00 - 01:00:05
Torrean: So here I am on this abstinence piece. I don't know for how long, but I'm here.
01:00:06 - 01:00:06
Mondo: Yeah, I was.
01:00:06 - 01:00:14
Torrean: All right. Have you ever intentionally been like, I'm going to go on a month, 3 month year abstinence sprint?
01:00:14 - 01:00:15
Mondo: Yeah, I've done it before.
01:00:16 - 01:00:23
Torrean: Oh, yeah. What came out on the other side? Is there something that like a year from now I'll be like, Dang, that was dope. Or would I be like, Man, why'd you do that?
01:00:26 - 01:00:37
Mondo: Good question. So I would just say that, you know, this was back in the day, right? And I ended up-
01:00:38 - 01:00:48
Torrean: Hold up, hold up. Just so we can have clarity, is this abstinence and no nutting? Or you was still jacking off?
01:00:50 - 01:00:53
Mondo: Nah, so I wouldn't say- it wasn't even just that, like.
01:00:53 - 01:00:54
Torrean: Oh, okay.
01:00:54 - 01:01:04
Mondo: And it wasn't even just that. I can't even go through the particulars because I don't want to disrespect my current relationship like that. But it was just like no sex basically, right?
01:01:04 - 01:01:05
Torrean: Okay,
01:01:05 - 01:01:23
Mondo: but With that being said Yeah, I mean I would say it led to my current relationship Right. So like be prior to me meeting Ricky. I was like a year, year and a half, 2 years. Word. Because I heard somebody.
01:01:25 - 01:01:31
Mondo: So I alluded to that earlier. Like I heard somebody and I was just like, yo, I'm going to shut it down.
01:01:34 - 01:01:38
Torrean: Dang. Well, I mean, you say year, year and a half, 2 years, I, you know, I
01:01:38 - 01:02:10
Mondo: mean, it sounds crazy, especially when you're in your 20s, right? Like, especially when you're in your 20s, it sounds super crazy. But at the same time, like, man, I've always we talk about being a, you know, Having a good heart and having a good, you know being a good person like That's always who I was and that's always who I've always been I'd always try to present myself and be respectful and and be the best version of Torrean. So like, you know, but that being said, I had to go and do some soul searching.
01:02:10 - 01:02:24
Torrean: That's dope. That's dope. As you're saying that, I'm just wondering, is it like that just part of getting ready to be married because you ain't gonna get none when you get married. Because that's what I be hearing in marriages. You know what I'm saying?
01:02:24 - 01:02:27
Torrean: It'd be sprints where like, y'all ain't having sex for a minute.
01:02:28 - 01:02:51
Mondo: Yeah. I mean, sometimes, but sometimes not. I mean, sometimes it's enhanced or better, you know, but you know, for the judges out there, you know, I'm not technically married, so I can't answer that question. You know, the motherfuckers are like to get technical out there, you know? But yeah, I mean, I think it's dope that you're trying that.
01:02:51 - 01:02:58
Mondo: You know, what was the semen retention, whatever the dictionary definition that you dropped on us.
01:02:58 - 01:03:16
Torrean: Let me say 1 more thing, because let me tell you why. Part of the semen retention strategy. I remember, you keep talking about being a DJ, right? I remember when I was in college, I went to FAMU, and if anybody's watching this, this dude, Dr. Denard, Denard, Dr.
01:03:16 - 01:03:46
Torrean: Denard, 1 of the dopest educators I have ever encountered in my life. And he said this story 1 time he was talking about being a Jedi, like a Jedi Knight for real. And he was just like, yo, Like, if you just think about it, right, like you're seeming the thing that produces life, you continue to get rid of it. He was like part of reaching your peak self, which he called Jedi, right, is being able to retain that. So then it's like It's just part of you, you know what I'm saying?
01:03:46 - 01:04:05
Torrean: And you just create a different type of of energy within yourself. And so just on some like Jedi Knight stuff, like that's why I started to see men retention in the first place. I was just like, oh, to become the best version of myself. Do I need to stop having sex just to retain my own semen. And so that's Mondo superhero stuff.
01:04:05 - 01:04:06
Torrean: That's how I started.
01:04:09 - 01:04:14
Mondo: OK, so. All right. Another wild question. We just got to go there.
01:04:14 - 01:04:16
Torrean: Yeah, go for it.
01:04:16 - 01:04:18
Mondo: All right, so there's some people I drink they own shit.
01:04:19 - 01:04:30
Torrean: No, hell no Absolutely not what this dude Tori and his in his 1 cup
01:04:33 - 01:04:37
Mondo: Hey Somebody do that shit out there, bro.
01:04:37 - 01:04:44
Torrean: Like, you know? Nah, I'm straight. Nah. You know, they're like, well, I can't. I said go to these different boards and try all the things.
01:04:44 - 01:04:47
Torrean: I ain't trying that. Ain't no need for me to try that.
01:04:49 - 01:05:02
Mondo: Alright, we got a couple more questions, we're gonna wrap this shit up, man. I am tripping right now. I'm gonna try to get us back on track.
01:05:02 - 01:05:13
Torrean: Hey, now y'all know, I started this podcast saying, man, the conversations with Torrean be wild because he pulls questions from out the ether. That is like, fam, where you get that from? So we go there.
01:05:14 - 01:05:16
Mondo: I asked questions I thought the audience might wanna hear.
01:05:16 - 01:05:19
Torrean: No, that's cool. That's cool, go for it.
01:05:19 - 01:05:22
Mondo: So, okay. So any other-
01:05:22 - 01:05:37
Torrean: Actually, real quick, real quick. Yeah. If somebody, because you know, you've been telling people put stuff in the comments. If somebody has an OC wild question That is like, oh, Torrean should ask this. I'm curious what that question is like.
01:05:37 - 01:05:43
Torrean: I want to know somebody that's like, no, this is a question I really want to ask. What would that be? So, yeah, drop that in the comments.
01:05:44 - 01:05:56
Mondo: Yeah. OK, cool. So, yeah, we're going to ask this question. Any advice if if, you know, new Mondo could go back to old Mondo and give some advice or would that be?
01:05:57 - 01:06:16
Torrean: Nah, bro. Like you were cold, you cold. Like, OK, fam. Now, every every choice that I've made, I believe has been the right choice for me. And then I say that with full certainty because eventually we just learn from those choices.
01:06:16 - 01:06:42
Torrean: If we would have made a different 1, if we'd have made different choices, we just got a different lesson, right? So, nah, bruh. All my choices have been dope for me, even though it's hurt some other people, but They've all been dope. They all got me to this point to be this version of myself, to be this confident, to have this relationship with God, to be this faithful to myself and to my family. So now I wouldn't change a thing.
01:06:43 - 01:06:59
Mondo: Cool. All right. And then you brought up marriage, bro. So is that something you would ever consider or, you know, and what would that look like or what would that you know right now? What would you say that would that would need to look like?
01:07:01 - 01:07:26
Torrean: What would I say marriage would have to look like right now? Bro, I have no idea. But I will say that There was a short time in my life where like. This was years ago, I was like, God, am I supposed to be? Are you telling me I'm supposed to get married?
01:07:26 - 01:07:41
Torrean: I use just some of my spirit and I was just like, dang, I may be. And then. That ended up shifting. I don't know why I got put that in my heart back then. So I don't rule anything out because I want to try all the stuff, but.
01:07:43 - 01:08:18
Torrean: There would have to be some new rules to our parameters in marriage. So for example, as a problem solver, right? This is probably going to make somebody mad as a problem solver. Back in the day, I was just like, yo, I think it would be super practical if you get married that at year 10 or year 15 and a year 25. There's like a month grace period where you know, either 1 of you can opt out without any friction, without legal, without like there's already a legal separation agreement.
01:08:19 - 01:08:32
Torrean: And you just you know, we made it 50 years. I mean, 15 years were completely different than we were 15 years ago. Yeah, this ain't it no more. And just opt out. Same at 25, just because we continue to evolve as humans.
01:08:34 - 01:09:02
Torrean: And so something like that would probably be in alignment with, like, our marriage agreement. Rather, if it's every 5 years, like, we literally have a mediation to be like, yo, are we going to keep doing this for another 5? Because I think that forces the 2 people to really be intentional in between time. Right? Like sometimes you get married and you're like, I'm complacent now.
01:09:02 - 01:09:09
Torrean: Like I ain't doing all the things that I used to do. Right. Before I got married, I'm not showing up. I'm not courting. I'm not, I'm losing myself.
01:09:09 - 01:09:28
Torrean: Right. And so it's like, yo, if every 5 years you have to kind of re up, like you were going to be more intentional to be like, man, let me continue to show up the same way I did when I first met her or when I first met him. So things like that, conditions like that I would want in place because I think it creates a different type of healthy relationship.
01:09:30 - 01:10:04
Mondo: Oh, man, You know, I always tell you, man, like, you know, from being a in a traditional relationship, I always kind of feel like, you know, share with you privately, you know, that, you know, I hope that for you 1 day. I hope you can get that 1 day just because I see the benefits of just having somebody that rocks with you and only you every single day and it's vice versa. Like you're pouring in equally, equally the amount, you know, if you were to take a Kool-Aid jar, you know, you were pouring in half the Kool-Aid, she pouring in half the Kool-Aid, right? And it's like...
01:10:04 - 01:10:06
Torrean: But you need the sugar too though, you know what I'm saying?
01:10:06 - 01:10:10
Mondo: Well, you can create your own sugar, you know what I mean? Like that's the sugar...
01:10:10 - 01:10:13
Torrean: I thought I was supposed to bring somebody else that had the sugar, my bad.
01:10:13 - 01:10:23
Mondo: Nah, see, That's the difference. You see what I'm saying? That's exactly the difference of what we're talking about. I actually like I like that analogy, but that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah, we create our own sugar.
01:10:23 - 01:10:33
Mondo: You know what I'm saying? Like, and you like, yo, somebody else got to bring the sugar. So I think that's pretty dope, man. You know, But man, I'll give you the final word on it, man. Wrap it up for us.
01:10:34 - 01:10:41
Torrean: Oh, my. You know, Mr. Trojan man, wrap it up. So I would say that. I am.
01:10:43 - 01:11:09
Torrean: Extremely confident in. My decisions simply because I'm willing to accept the consequences of them. If anybody that knows me knows, I believe everything happens exactly the way that they should all the time in perfect harmony. It's a perfect love story if you believe that it will be that. And so, the perfect love story can't manifest if you're not being honest with yourself.
01:11:10 - 01:11:27
Torrean: So man, like, whether you're a guy, a gal, like, and you need to leave that relationship or you want to tell that person the truth, or you want to ask them to get married, or whatever the thing is, man, do the thing. Say it out loud. Like, it's for the next chapter. And so don't be stuck on that last page of the previous chapter, man. Turn the page.
01:11:28 - 01:11:32
Mondo: Oh, you don't got to turn the page, Bobby V. OK, I see you.
01:11:35 - 01:11:40
Torrean: Once we get off, I'm about to tell you something, you're gonna be like, wow. Watch.
01:11:41 - 01:11:53
Mondo: Alright, but with that being said, man, for Mondo, I am Torrean, aka Daddy. I forgot to introduce myself at the beginning of the podcast. Everybody know who the fuck I am anyway.
01:11:54 - 01:11:56
Torrean: We out. Peace.